I really want to have sex for the first time. But I am only teen. I know vaguely what to do and I know to use protection. But I was talking to my 17-year-old cousin (who has had sex before) if it hurt his girlfriend the first time. And he had said that she was screaming and she felt as if she wanted to die. This information scared me a little too much for comfort. I would like to know if it will hurt as much as he said it will or if he was just exaggerating. Thank you so much.
Hey, Jamie.
First things first: there are all of two or three countries in the world where it's even lawful for you to have intercourseat your age, and in most places, many other kinds of sex. If you're writing in from the states, there is no state in which you're at the age of consent. However you may feel about these laws, they exist, and it's generally very unwise not to abide by them, especially given the cultural climate when it comes to teens and sex. If your partner is over the age of consent, or worse still a legal adult, he could be looking at some very serious criminal charges. So, personally, I'd advise you to wait on sex until you're legal. It also is often pretty difficult for someone your age to get things like thesexual healthcare you need and birth control, or abortion services or pre-natal care in the event of an accidentalpregnancy, so until you're in a place and of an age where you can always get those basics when you need them, it's really best to hold off.
Same goes for having the kinds of interpersonal negotiation and communication skills that it usually takes most folks longer to get a handle on than in the first 13 years of their lives. Sex always keeps, and it's always better (emotionally, as well as just for our enjoyment) when we only have it when we've got all we need to have it safely and soundly.
Which isn't to say I'm not going to answer your questions.
Could someone be in so much pain from first intercourse that they're screaming? They could. Everyone's pain threshold is different, and there are a bunch of different conditions that could make first intercourse strongly painful. (Suffice it to say, if your cousin's girlfriend also really just didn't want to be having intercourse, it would be normal for her to be screaming.)
Here are some common reasons why that could happen: